The Many Ways Sasuke Came Back To Konoha
by SnappleNoJutsu
Summary: What are the only conceivable reasons that Sasuke would return to Konoha? As written by your’s truly and my friend Alexis. Some slight SasuNaru. Don't like, don't read.
1. Way 1

-1Disclaimer: Unfortunately, we do not own Naruto.

Summary: What are the only conceivable reasons that Sasuke would return to Konoha? As written by your's truly and my friend Alexis.

Author's Note: This chapter was written by Alexis.

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All three of them sat in one room enjoying dinner, cooked and plated by Kabuto. The tender and juicy roasted lamb with walnut-mint pesto sauce steamed on the white plate as he set it down in front of Orochimaru. On the side were rosemary potatoes, and steamed zucchini that had also been lightly spiced. Serving a second plate to Sasuke, he sat down at his own place to enjoy his meal.

"What is this?" Sasuke sneered, using his fork to jab at the lamb.

"Roasted lamb." Kabuto answered, cutting a slice off from his own plate.

"Looks disgusting."

"Then don't eat it." Kabuto shot back angrily toward Sasuke.

"He's our main man, we have to make sure he is well fed, and has anything his heart desires." Orochimaru commended, stroking his cheek. "You'll have to make him something else Kabuto."

"What!?! I spent ALL DAY making this!" Kabuto cried incredulously.

"Do it four-eyes." The satisfied smirk of dominance on Sasuke's face turned Kabuto's red with anger. Seething, he took Sasuke's plate and began to head for the kitchen.

"Kabuto, take mine as well." Orochimaru commanded, taking a sip of his wine. Biting back the annoyed sigh, he went back for it.

"And what are you two desiring tonight?"

"Nothing more for me Kabuto, I am going to take my bath now." Gracefully, Orochimaru stood and left the two alone in the room. Slamming the plates on the table when he was sure that Orochimaru couldn't hear, her turned to Sasuke.

"That's it you're out of here!"

"What the hell does that mean?" Sasuke looked him up and down judging how serious he was as he stomped toward him. Without another word, Kabuto proceeded to kick the shit out of Sasuke and tie him up, dragging him bound and gagged to his room and placing him in a giant box. He paused for a moment to scribble a note, which he stuck to Sasuke's forehead.

"I'm sick and tired of 'Mr. Perfect' stealing the spotlight and being a complete ass around here. Give my regards to Naruto!" Firmly sealing the lid he dragged the box outside to the nearest road and waited a few minutes before some villagers came with a wagon. "Hey!" He flagged them down. "I'll give you fifty yen if you take him to Konoha as fast as you can." Looking confused the villager took the money.

"Him?" Some muffled noises followed by the box shaking got their attention.

"Here's another fifty to forget everything after you deliver it and never tell a soul." The young man nodded happily, loaded on the heavy item and set fourth to Konoha. Kabuto wiped his hands, and looked happily as the man rushed off his gift. "Well, now that's settled… I think I'll go join Orochimaru."

"Naruto! This package came for you!" Kakashi called as he hauled the box in. "Geeze, it must be really big to weigh this much."

"Set it down right there." Naruto pointed to a spot by the door and Kakashi set it down with a large thump. A small noise was made inside and they both jumped. "What is it?" Naruto asked in bewilderment.

"No idea." Naruto got closer and slowly took off the top to find… Sasuke… bound and gagged with a note. Taking the note off the struggling Sasuke he read it.

_Dear Naruto,_

_Take this pain in the ass back, I don't want him here anymore he's too much of a bother. Good luck. _

Looking from the note to Sasuke and back he remained speechless. "What the hell?" Was all he could think to say when words finally came back. Well, at least Sasuke was back in Konoha.


	2. Way 2

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, we do not own Naruto.

Summary: What are the only conceivable reasons that Sasuke would return to Konoha? As written by your's truly and my friend Alexis.

Author's Note: Chapter written by me.

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A blond haired boy with whisker marks on either cheek walked, humming to himself, as he made his way towards Ichiraku's Ramen Stand when he suddenly had heard a peculiar noise.

"HEE-HAW!"

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks and looked around.

"What the hell?" He asked to himself, terribly confused.

"HEE-HAW!" It replied.

Naruto slowly walked down the alley-way to where he thought he heard the noise coming from. As he neared the end, he saw a gray donkey standing by himself near the back wall. The donkey looked up at Naruto with large, sad black eyes. Naruto's heart broke, and tears made their way into his eyes.

"Oh! You poor, poor donkey! You look so alone.. I know what that's like," he sobbed into his sleeve.

The donkey's tail swished back and forth, and continued to stare at Naruto.

"Do you belong to anyone? How did you get here, for that matter," the blond idly wondered to himself "…well, I guess that doesn't matter. Do you want to come with me?"

The donkey stomped his hoof and nodded his head enthusiastically.

"Great! Now we can be BEST FRIENDS," he cried, diving at the donkey and giving him a large hug around the neck "I will call you Mr. Heehaw, we can read stories together and draw pictures and look at the clouds with Shikamaru and eat dinner with Chouji and I will introduce you to Sakura-chan! She'll like you, for sure," Naruto ranted as he walked along out of the alley way with his new-found companion.

Naruto continued to ramble as the pair walked farther and farther away from Naruto's original destination. The blond didn't realize how far he'd actually walked, lost in conversation with his donkey-friend, until he looked around and decidedly... had no clue where he was. He seemed to be in some sort of weird town. Naruto didn't remember walking THIS far, but apparently he had. There were drunk men stumbling out of bars and prostitutes strutting through the streets. Naruto gripped on to Mr. Hee-haw and continued to wander down the street, hoping to find at least one sane person who could tell him the way back to Konoha.

"Hey, you. The blond with the scars on his face," an older man with a head full of red curly hair and a beard to match hissed, waving his hand towards Naruto.

"Me?" he asked, pointing to himself.

"No, your identical twin behind you," the man stated rolling his eyes.

Naruto glanced behind himself, just to make sure.

The man smacked his forehead.

Naruto walked a little bit closer towards the man, Mr. Hee-haw following nervously behind.

"I have something you might like," the bulky man shared, large eyes gleaming "Come with me, down here, and I'll show him to you."

"Him?" Naruto squeaked, hesitant to follow this weird guy down a dark alley way.

"Yes, yes. Follow me," he growled.

Gripping Mr. Hee-haw tightly, Naruto followed the man down the dark alley way. The man turned left, and went through a large wooden door. Naruto followed cooperatively around the corner and through the door. After a lot of hard work (Naruto had to hold the door open for Mr. Hee-haw, and then help him up the steps), they finally arrived in a large room . The room was very empty save for a person sitting in the corner. Mr. Hee-haw hee-haw'd nervously. Naruto patted him.

The gruff man gestured toward the person sitting in the corner, and looked back towards Naruto.

"That's him. I bought him as a slave to do house work, but he has quite a temper on him and never does what I ask. The slave trader said he used to be a ninja, so he gave me these special arm cuffs to put on him to take away his chakra and fighting power, but he still won't do anything I ask. He just stubbornly sits there all day and does nothing. I've been looking for someone to sell him to all day, you're the only one I've found who looks normal enough to keep him. So, what do you say?" the man questioned, looking expectantly back at Naruto.

Naruto stared at the boy in the corner. He looked somewhat familiar…. Then, suddenly, he looked up, and Naruto knew where he'd seen him before.

"Sasuke…" he said, raising his eye brows up, eyes widening.

"You know him?"

"I don't have any money," Naruto said, looking at the man, then back at Sasuke.

"That's alright… how about I take your donkey?" the read head asked, looking at the donkey.

Naruto gasped and clung to his donkey friend.

"Not Mr. Hee-haw!"

"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled, speaking for the first time since Naruto had come in.

"But.. He's.. and…," Naruto whimpered "….Fine, but you better take good care of him, and if you don't.. I'll know. And I'll find you."

The bulky man laughed.

"All right, all right. Here, take him," the man said, lifting Sasuke up by his shirt and standing him in front of Naruto.

Naruto glared.

"I'm making a large sacrifice for you right now, the least you could say is thank you."

Sasuke glared, as well.

"Dobe! You think a donkey is more important than my life?!"

"Well, the donkey didn't try to kill me once, did he!"

Sasuke's jaw set angrily as Naruto proceeded to leave the room. Sasuke followed.

"Well, now I guess you have no choice but to come back to Konoha, huh? How'd you get into that mess, anyway, Sasuke?" Naruto said, grinning and turning his face towards Sasuke.

Sasuke remained silent.

"Heeey, do you know the way back to Konoha? We probably should have asked that guy…" Naruto said, thoughfully tapping his chin.

"Usuratonkachi."

"Don't call me that. I think it's this way." Naruto said, beginning to walk back the way he'd come from earlier.

"You THINK?"

"Shut up, teme. Don't question your MASTER." Naruto smirked.

Sasuke twitched, making a fist in anger.

"Come on, or else I'll leave you behind to be raped by these women."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

Sasuke fearfully caught up with Naruto and followed closely behind, trying to ignore the women who stared as he walked by, eyeing him up and down.

Finally, after some time, they began to enter a familiar looking forest, then the entrance to Konoha.

"You don't really expect me to go in there, do you? Not after all that's happened.. I'm a wanted S-class criminal." Sasuke stated, looking up at the gates, showing no emotion.

"I miss Mr. Hee-haw." Naruto said sadly.

"Is that donkey all you can think about?! The last time I saw you, you said all you could think about was bringing me back, and now that you have me you're still complaining about having to give away that donkey!?" Sasuke cried, looking incredulously at Naruto.

"WELL, excuse ME for missing one of the good things in my life! At least Mr. Hee-haw never criticized me or called me an Usuratonkachi."

Sasuke glared.

"That's another thing! He never glared at me…."

Sasuke grinded his teeth and closed his eyes.

"He didn't grind his teeth in frustration at me, either! Mr. Hee-haw was a caring and beloved donkey, he had the patience of a saint and he always listened to--"

Naruto was suddenly cut off by what seemed to be Sasuke's lips against his. Sasuke's very soft lips. Naruto lost his train of thought as Sasuke's tongue licked against his lower lip.

Sasuke slowly pulled away and looked at Naruto expectantly.

"Could your donkey friend do that?" he whispered, hot breath ghosting over Naruto's ear.

"Sasuke…," Naruto sighed "… Why would I want to kiss a donkey? You're disgusting."

Sasuke smacked his forehead.


End file.
